The Carrie Bradshaw Rule of Fashion

worst5When you put on something and think to yourself, “am I too old to wear this,” it’s probably one of the most fucked up moments of life … especially if you just turned 30 like I did. Because when did I get to the point in my life when I thought I was too old for ANYTHING

For me, it was when I threw on a black choker. You know … like the ones all the Jenners and Hadids are rocking (sign number one), and the ones I wore in the early-90s? I took one look in the mirror and immediately saw myself as Josie Grosie from Never Been Kissed, pretending to fit in with all the “rad” high school girls … terribly.

Like thinking about the fact that I could potentially wear the same outfits as my 14-year-old niece honestly makes me physically ill. For me AND for her.

But I didn’t take it off. Nope. I kept that sucker on. Mostly because I was mad at myself for even thinking something like that (pshh I’m timeless :::hair flip::: also, where is my Retinol eye cream?), and because I live life by the “Carrie Bradshaw Rule of Fashion.”

What is the Carrie Bradshaw Rule of Fashion you say? Well gather ’round kids. It’s time for a Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra lesson on life. 

Carrie Bradshaw was not some 20-something frolicking around NYC in her Jimmy Choos. Oh no. That bitch was in her 30s for most of Sex and the City (I feel like people overlook that fact). Which is SO refreshing, because now I feel like all we see are 20-somethings living off their parents money and seeing how they can out-hipster one another whilst “figuring it all out” :::cough cough GIRLS cough::: 

Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte … all in their 30s during Sex and the City. Which oddly makes me feel so much better about what I have going on and not going on in my life right now.

So back to the Carrie Bradshaw Rule of Fashion … she had no rules. She made up the rules as she went. 

She wore shit like this:

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Oh and did we forget about this:

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And HELLO … the Cafeteria look where she met the comic book dude!?

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Did she look in the mirror and say, “hmm am I too mature to rock a belt around my middriff?” “I wonder if my 14-year-old niece and her friends are wearing the same thing?” NO. She didn’t give a shit. She made it her own, and made it work. Age was never a factor in her outfits. They were fun, creative, and expressed who she was as a person. And dammit, isn’t that what style is all about?

Chokers are fleeting fashion … I know that for a fact. But right now they fit into my style aesthetic. Will I go around rocking mom jeans and white Adidas Shell Toes? Well that is something that just does not fit into my style profile … sorry Hadid- and Jenner-lookalikes. 

So next time you think you’re too old to rock something, rely on the Carrie Bradshaw Rule of Fashion. As long as you aren’t rocking ties over t-shirts a-la Avril Lavigne … I think we are good. Because that shit is never okay.

We … Got … You BACK!

songI mean is everyone else still recovering after hearing the AMAZING news of N’SYNC reuniting AND performing at the VMA’s this weekend?! My 13-year-old self is squealing with joy, while my 26-year-old professional self is keeping the squeal inside and instead secretly trying to remember the sweet dance moves to “Bye, Bye, Bye.” It’s funny … I can’t remember what I did yesterday, but I CAN sing every single lyric of “Digital Get Down” … but I digress …

Right now I would like to time travel back to the year 2000. A time when I was freshly 13. A time when I rocked braces AND a palette expander (hawt). And I time when I was 110% positive that I was going to be Mrs. Kate Elizabeth Timberlake.

I attended two N’SYNC concerts, and both times were pure ecstasy. I literally have a photo album (what up, old lady), of really horrifying pictures of little dots that were N’SYNC from my disposable camera (yep, I’m SUPER old) with even more horrifying captions next to them. I wasn’t one of those girls that screamed until they were hoarse during the concert. Oh no … I sat there, next to my best friend, held her hand, and cried. CRIED. Except that one time when he totally pointed at me during “This I Promise You,” I cried AND screamed. I mean … I still get the chills thinking about it (psyche).

So before attending my first concert, I was convinced that somehow I would get to go backstage and meet Justin, so I needed to look like, PERFECT, because clearly we were going to fall in love instantaneously, right?! To explain my 13-year-old style in the year 2000, I was secretly obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw. Even though I was definitely not allowed to watch the show, I saw her in other places and died for her. So, in essence, she was my style idol. So I tried to make her edgy and fabulous style happen … at the Gap … since … welp, that is where my mom took me to shop … cool.

So enjoy my top 3 highlights of the style I rocked at my very first N’SYNC concert, ahem:

1. I talked my mom into letting me get my hair professionally straightened for the concert. My hair was really short and, due to sweet sweet puberty, an insanely kinky, curly disaster area. If I tried to straighten it, I would have a horrific afro. So I needed my hair dresser at the time, who was known for making my hair “Asian straight,” to make me glamorous. At the time it took them 2 1/2 hours to get my hair perfectly straight … and it was worth every agonizing moment.

2. Remember crystal tattoos? Oh yeah … I also made my mother go on a massive hunt for these bad boys because I HAD to wear one to the concert. That would totally bring Justin to the yard. Oh yeah … and I’m pretty sure it was in the shape of a butterfly … :::rolling eyes:::

3. I was rocking a sweet palette expander AND braces. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is a rather large piece of metal that goes on the roof of your mouth and every night it had to be turned with a key to “expander your palette.” It was a painful nightmare and made me talk funny. So thank Jesus I didn’t actually meet Justin because it would have sounded something like, “OH EM GSSHHEE, JUUSSHHTIN, I JUSSHHTH LUGGE YOU!” I like to think he would have still married me, though.

Woof. So there you have it. Even though it makes me cringe a bit … it brings back fond memories of me standing in front of my TV waiting patiently for Carson Daly to play an N’SYNC video so I could learn all the dance moves. And yes, my plan is to get my girlfriends together on Sunday night so we can drink wine and keep our fingers crossed that everyone, besides Justin Timberlake isn’t a fat, overweight loser now … mainly Chris Kirkpatrick.

What is your favorite N’SYNC moment?