Global Warming Doesn’t Dictate …

… what I wear. Say it with me now … global warming doesn’t dictate what I wear. Okay, so I live in the Northeast, for those few readers who might not live in said area. So usually, in the land of normal that no longer exists, we don’t endure hurricanes, snow on Halloween, and we most certainly do not have 60 and above degree temperatures in December.

Usually this time in December, I’m trying to invest in another coat, checking to see how much snow the silly weather people say we are going to get (and then I subtract 5 inches) and hot chocolate feels like heaven whilst decorating the Christmas tree … but this year, not so much. Whilst decorating the tree at work today, I literally wanted to rip off my blazer (but couldn’t for I was wearing an inappropriate tank top underneath … blast) and the site of hot chocolate made me feel so uncomfortable I wanted to die. What in the HELL is going on?!

It just doesn’t feel like Christmas. I’m sorry, while driving to work in a ridiculous rain storm that lasts all day in a nice muggy 62 degrees while listening to Bing Crosby singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire doesn’t feel right. You know what else doesn’t feel right? My winter coat, or my over the knee boots, or my scarfs and gloves, or my fur-trimmed sweaters that I’ve accumulated expecting … oh I dunno, WINTER. I wanna scream, I really do.

It is December for crying out loud. December. Well sorry, “global warming” I refuse to get on my knees and surrender to you, no matter how uncomfortable I may be. I’m over dressing in layers to go along with the fall weather guessing game of it being 70 degrees during the day and 30 degrees at night. Done. And so far, I feel like the people I see on a day-to-day basis agree. Amen people, amen.

I was contemplating wearing my fur-trimmed cardigan tomorrow at work, but hesitated because of how hot and stuffy everything was today. But you know what? I don’t care … because it is December. And dammit I will trim my tree in a fur-trimmed sweater if I please … which I do. I will wear my over the knee boots, even though they will trap heat within me making me crave consistently an ice-cold glass of water.

But honestly, suck it global warming. Stop ruining my holiday and bring on some cold, normal weather perhaps? That would be lovely. I would give ANYTHING just to see a snow flake … just one.