That Time Topshop Made Me Feel Like A Cow

tbs_movies_meangirls_645x360_081920110109I’ll admit it. I have let myself go a little bit. Because I love French fries, and it was the holidays, and I was sick, and blah blah blah, and at the end of the day I gave zero fucks and ate what I wanted.

My clothes still fit … I just feel gross and I am fully aware that there is some extra weight where there shouldn’t be. I’m owning it. I said it. It’s out in the world. 

I didn’t feel too bad about it until I treated myself to a little shopping trip for my birthday at Nordstrom. Topshop makes up a good portion of the “trendy” section, which I wasn’t complaining about because I heart Topshop

…until we got intimate in the dressing room. 

I had pulled 3 pairs of pants to try on, all ranging from sizes 10-12 (I’m normally a size 10, but knew Topshop runs small, so I decided to go up a size, just in case). Cute, ripped up skinny jeans. Gimme. 

The 10 barely went over my ankles. So I was like, okay, I get it, their sizes are wonky, I’ll suck it up and make the 12 work. Because French fries rule everything around me and this is where I am in life. 

The 12 barely went past my God damn knees. What in the living fuck? A big part of me wanted to throw myself in the corner of the fitting room in the fetal position, rocking back and forth crying hysterically listening to “In The Arms of an Angel.” I all of a sudden couldn’t even make eye contact with myself in the mirror because I was just straight up disgusted. 

And the kicker of all of this … 12 is the biggest size they had in Topshop pants at Nordstrom. I felt like Regina George trying on her formal dress after eating all of those Kalteen bars … “mmm yeah we don’t carry your size, maybe try Sears?” 

I didn’t even want to shop anymore. Even though I had found some cute tops that I adored, none of it was satisfying to me. None of it. I just felt fat, and gross, and not worthy of Topshop. And I kind of wanted an entire bottle of wine, but that was neither here nor there. 

And you know what? That is complete and utter bullshit. My mom quickly reminded me that the last time, months and months ago, I had the same run in with Topshop. I tried some shit on and all it did was make me feel bad about myself. 

Clothing should not make you feel bad about yourself. It should be a fun expression of who you are. Not a reminder that, mmm yeah, you don’t fit within our dumbass size ranges and maybe you should just eat salad for the rest of your life, you damn heifer. 

I think “plus size” is complete and utter nonsense. People treat it like a disease. Ooohh you gained an extra 10 pounds? Shucks, looks like we have to send you out to Plus size pasture. Cue the lightning bolts. 

Clothing companies, Topshop in particular … you are there to make women feel good about themselves. And when you don’t go past a certain size, or when certain sizes go from “normal” to “curvy” or “plus” … it doesn’t always make people feel great. Just because someone is over a certain size doesn’t mean they need to be in a different class of clothing. Just sayin’…

So Topshop, your tops are cute, your accessories are lovely, but your pants can suck it. Get it together and start catering to all women of all sizes, even the ones that love French fries a little more than others. A size is a size. Integrate them, shall we? 

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Let’s End Aggression On Social Media

13328977_1037032142999146_460446625_nFacebook is a pretty dark place to be on right now. Lots of feelings. Lots of opinions. And lots of nasty rebuttals. 

Yesterday I posted on my personal page a simple statement over a share of PostSecret’s photo that simply said, “Hate is not our story.” And above it I wrote, “I will get behind anyone who is interested in reforming our gun laws.” Immediately I received a pretty aggressive and detailed comment from a person who, obviously, didn’t agree with my views. And reading it made my heart sink to my stomach.

Right now we are all disturbed and heart broken over the terrorist attack that happened in Orlando this past weekend. It’s hard not to be. Because this person who killed innocent people on Sunday did it because he didn’t agree with the way they were living their lives. And guess what? These terrorists don’t agree with a lot of what we as Americans believe in, in regards to religious freedom, gender equality, and gay rights. That means that what happened in Orlando could have happened anywhere at anytime. 

We are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs. And I believe we are all entitled to love who we want, believe what we want, and get behind what we want. And because of that I responded to the comment on my Facebook page with simply, “I will respect your point of view if you will respect mine.” And just like that, I got an apology from the person through a private message. Not for their point of view, but for being aggressive and attacking my beliefs.

During events like these, which are all too often, people pour their opinions and thoughts on to their social media channels. Perhaps it is a way for them to cope, a way for them to feel like they are helping, or a way from them to take a stand. Hey, I posted my thoughts to support the victims and their families as, honestly, I didn’t know what else to do. Writing has always been cathartic to me, so therefore I used my words. 

But not all words are being used in a positive manner. They are being used to attack beliefs and aggressively prove that their point of view is the right one. Which then turn into heated, nasty debates with comment after comment of harsh statements aimed to hurt. 

Guess what, kids? You are NEVER going to get someone to change their beliefs by being aggressive and derogatory via a Facebook comment. Actually, no. You’re NEVER going to change a person’s beliefs via a social media channel. It doesn’t work like that.

You’re entitled to your beliefs, yes. But instead of causing useless rage and negativity on a social media chain, go to your government. Contact congress. Because those are the people that will listen. Your friend from high school that you haven’t seen in 10 years who posted that she wants all guns to be banned will only become more aggressive, as well as her other friends who believe the same, when you go off on a rant about your opposite beliefs on gun laws.

It’s all about perspective. Right now there are families in Orlando who don’t know where their loved ones are. There are families mourning the loss of their loved one who just went out for a night of fun on a Saturday evening and was murdered because of it. 

So the next time you see a post on your social channels that you don’t agree with, I encourage you to ignore and channel your thoughts and feelings into something bigger. Get off your ass and give blood. Go to your local government and see if there is something you can do. 

It’s Facebook, people. FACE. BOOK. Let me say it again, FACEBOOK. Yeah … I hope you’re laughing along with me. A fucking social media channel shouldn’t be ripping us all apart. Keep it in perspective, please. The United States needs more positivity than ever. Let’s work on that, shall we? 

My heart goes out to all the victims and their families. And I encourage all of us to keep not being afraid to show our true colors and walk proudly with our heads held high.

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