I never understood the people who would roll their eyes at the Real Housewives franchise and be all, “how can you watch this rubbish?!” To me it was an excuse to put my brain on the shelf and drool as I watch these fantastically rich women shop, eat, and bicker over meaningless drama. After a long annoying day, nothing is better than a little escape, am I right?
But it happened. Recently I had to turn off a Real Housewives of NY episode mid-way through because I couldn’t take it. I just can’t deal with eight women screaming at each other for a solid hour. When you feel like you need to pop a Xanax whilst watching a reality show … it means it is time to shut it down.
So when my best friend mentioned to me how “Odd Mom Out“, a scripted show by Bravo, was actually entertaining, I had no other option than to give it a whirl. While I may have given up on the RHONY, I wasn’t about to give up on Bravo as whole. That is just crazy talk.
And that is when I met my new best friend (sorry current best friend), Jill Kargman. I want to shop with her. I want to drink with her. I want to make fun of people with her. I want to eat a whole baguette with her. I want to braid her hair (wait … what?). I didn’t even know there was this massive void in my life until I became one with this amazing show (by the way how creepy do I sound right now?).
As someone who loathes snobby people, is an eye rolling perfectionist, loves carbs, and wears all black all day errday … Jill Kargman, the star of Odd Mom Out, is now my soul sister. I’ve declared it. Anyone who has their outfit complimented by a gay man as, “it’s like Marc Jacobs had a threesome with Morticia Adams and Karl Lagerfeld’s angrogenous sister,” is destined to be my soul sister.
Not to mention her catchphrases are brilliant … some of which I’m working overtime trying to incorporate into my every day lexicon. I’ll only dazzle you with a few as I could go on forevski (stolen from Jill Kargman).
“Let’s get the check-oslovakia.”
“Thigh plus ass equals thass”
“Donuts are just gay bagels.”
Listen … I know I usually premiere “Style Stud” of the week on Friday, but this is a “holiday” week and I make the rules up in this bitch, so I’m breaking them. Jill Kargman of Odd Mom Out, you are the Style Stud of the week on Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra, because you’re smart, stylish, bad ass, sarcastic, extraordinarily witty, and show women you don’t need to turn into a robot freak of nature only focused on kids and kid-related topics once you procreate.
Cheers and let’s get cocktails, kay?