Nordstrom Sparkle Versus Beauty Queen Sparkle … HELP

After a hard day, sometimes alcohol is necessary … and after other hard days, like today, shoe shopping is necessary. I didn’t go there on a mission, just wanted to walk around hoping for something spectacular to catch my eye.

Now I am not a shoe snob. As long as they are fashion-forward and cute, I will buy a $9 pair of shoes from Forever 21 all the way to a $200 pair of shoes at Nordstrom and everything in between. I don’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter where you get them as long as they are on point trend wise and, bottom line, are kiss-worthy.

But while I was aimlessly wandering through DSW, I found myself eye-to-eye with a ridiculously cute pair of sandals. Immediately visions of me frolicking around … well … everywhere in them were dancing in my head. You know, strutting my stuff in the city with a soft wind blowing through my hair. Normal stuff. But then, my awesome visions came to a violent stop when I saw the brand name. Fergalicious. What?! Like really? Who is the genius that gave “Fergalicious” her own brand? All I could think about was those dumb songs she sang back in the day that were only great when you were really hammered. Like seriously Fergie, I didn’t get a ridiculously expensive degree in English to have a spectacle like yourself teach me how to spell “delicious” while rolling in a pile of candy, kay? (Wow I sound like I’m 100).

Anyways, let me act like I’m 25 and say, I went from practically spooning these sandals to almost punting them when I found out who made them. Why? Well, by sheer association. I think of an artist who makes dumb songs and who butchered “Gimme Shelter” with Mick Jagger … henceforth making me despise the shoes. I moved on though.

And in May I am in my best friends wedding. I have the dress, and I even have the shoes, which are sparkly and fabulous (the first pair in this post). We were only told to find a gold shoe, so when I came across these bad boys at Nordstrom, for a fabulous price, I couldn’t help myself. And they seem to be extremely comfortable … so far.

But then, whilst strolling through the clearance section at DSW, I landed on yet another cute pair of gold, sparkly shoes, expect these had a t-strap, peep toe and a slightly smaller heel (the second picture in this post). They are absolutely elegant, old-world style, something Judy Garland would have worn. And for under $40 … I had to have them. So when I looked at the box, all I saw was a little crown logo and assumed the brand name was “Crown,” which made sense at the time. But as I was standing in line to check out, I noticed the top of the box said “Miss America.” OH HELL NO.

Yes, I had fallen for a pair of shoes made by a bunch of beauty queens who I’ve made fun of for years. I immediately began to wonder if I wore these to the wedding would I start doing the robotic wave to people, start a tap dance routine for my talent, have the urge to put vaseline on my teeth for smiling purposes, and go around preaching my dire hope for world peace? ICK! It’s just a damn brand, and the shoes were too cute to pass up so I made the investment. But because of the association with “Miss America,” I wanted nothing to do with them. Since making the purchase I’ve been very busy making fun of myself, and trying to convince myself that since beauty queens made these shoes, or at least their logo is on them, perhaps they are comfortable because they of all people know how painful heels really are.

But when I got them home and saw my other sparkly Nordstrom shoes just sitting there like, “oh, you’re home, darling. I’ve been waiting for you! Put me on so I can make you fabulous.” And then the beauty queen shoes looked back at me and said, “you too will get the Miss America crown if you walk around in me, especially during swim suit competitions.”

So ladies, here is where I need your help. Tell me which ones you like better. I need your total honest opinions here, no bullshit. I don’t care if you don’t like the Nordstrom ones because you think they look like hooker heels, or the beauty queen ones because you think beauty pageants are old-fashioned. Just give it to me straight … otherwise I will become the shiny shoe hoarder. And no one wants that … well …

Merry Christmas, Hap-py Hol-i-days (Nsync Style)

Merry Christmas, fantastic readers! I hope Santa was good to every single one of you. I’m going to be honest with you, it is a little difficult for me to write right now, for I am in sheer shoe ecstasy. What I found underneath my tree this morning was a pair of shoes that I have been lusting over for about a year and a half, only I would have never bought them for myself. They are completely impractical, completely over the top, but such a sincerely amazing surprise that it kind of brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I leaked a little over a pair of fabulous shoes.

The older I get, the more the presents don’t mean as much. It isn’t that I don’t like asking for things and finding them waiting for me wrapped up in a perfect bow on Christmas morning. But for me, more than anything, it is the enjoyment of being around the ones you love, as corny as it may sound. Things are things. At the end of the day, you can get these “things” any day of the week at any time. But the surprises and the little things you don’t ask for are absolutely the best kinds of presents to give. There definitely is a difference of asking for a specific lip gloss, in a specific shade, or just having someone you care about notice something you’ve been obsessed with, but haven’t pulled the trigger to purchase it for yourself. It honestly warms my heart and soul.

This week really has shown me that I am surrounded by a lot of love and support, including all of my fabulous readers. Merry Christmas, enjoy the day … eat, drink and drink some more!

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go spoon my fantastic shoes.

My Quest For Shoe Sparkle

So I promised myself that this weekend will be the one where I throw in the towel and start Christmas shopping. And with Christmas shopping comes the temptation of buying yourself one or two … or five presents … cause you know you’ve been awfully good this year, correct? I am a firm believer in buying yourself what my family calls a “happy, happy” whilst Christmas shopping. I’m not saying go crazy and buy yourself a Rolls Royce and a bottle of Cris because you think you’re awesome, I’m talking just a little something something that could potentially put a glow upon your face.

I know it might sound pretentious to discuss buying yourself Christmas presents, but we work hard too … and for the love of God Santa is a busy man, he can’t remember every little thing. I personally have my eye on a pair of sparkly heels. Last year I got the sparkly dress for New Year’s, this year I want my shoes to have a little bling, not like over the top, Paris Hilton bling … but you know, just the right amount of sparkle.

So another vital piece of info you will need to understand this post is that I’m 5’9. I became “tall” when I went from normal 7th grader height to like 5’8 over night … and this is where my height issues set in being that I was surrounded by petite, cute 5 foot nothing girls until I went to college. From then on, shoes I could wear and boys I could date became limited. Boys had to be over 6 foot and shoes had to be a kitten heel or less. Even whilst wearing kitten heels, I felt like an unnatural amazon woman. I used to despise, actually sometimes still do, those perfect 5’5 girls who are always like, “If only I had an extra two inches, sigh.” I most certainly always verbally smack them and say something along the lines of, “Well … ¬†AT LEAST YOU HAVE SHOE OPTIONS … HHHIISSSSSSS.”

I’m 24 now, and since I’ve graduated college, perhaps due to some “real world” therapy, I’ve gone from feeling like the jolly green giant in kitten heels to rocking 3 inch platforms with confidence. In fact, I wore flats to work one day and a direct quote from one of my co-workers, “Wow, I’ve never seen you in anything but heels, this is weird!” She really did not understand the look of shock that took over my face due to how bizarre that statement was for me to endure, the girl whose license still says 5’8 because for so long I accepted that height and refused to admit that I was in reality one inch taller. (First step is recognizing you’re a freak.)

So due to my craving for some dazzling heels, I entered upon the Nordstrom website, which is fantastic. You can specify what color heel you want, what size, what heel height and what price. So in general, without limitations, there were so many sparkly heels, I didn’t know which one to click first. In fact every shoe was gorgeous. Sparkles, feathers, suede, leather … amazing. All of it. I wanted it. In my closet.

So then I got a little more specific. Price, below $200, aka below $150, aka below $100. Heel height, 3 inches or less. Color, sparkly (I don’t think that was a color option, but I made it work). Size, 9. All of a sudden, it was like the website got sucked dry of all the pretty shoes. Gone. I was in the land of dry, boring and vanilla. If I wanted a Naturalizer, black leather sling back with a kitten heel, I was in heaven, but unfortunately that was not what I was looking for.

Okay perhaps I’m lying, there was ONE pair of sparkly shoes, that is if I wanted to get down with a sequin pair of peep toe TOMS wedges. Really? Really “TOMS”? So here is what I want to know. Why no one makes the “fun” shoes for the girl who doesn’t want to rock a 4 inch heel with a 1 1/2 inch platform. I’m not just speaking for the tall girls out there who don’t want to tower over their boyfriends in the name of fabulousness. I’m talking about the average girl who doesn’t want to have to be carried around by the end of the night because their feet hurt from said devil heels or have to walk barefoot through a city and end up getting some weird disease on their feet.

Just because we want a reasonably sized heel, which 3 inches still isn’t reasonable, we get shamed to wearing some non-special, every day “working woman” shoe. It really makes no sense. Give us options, shoe makers of the world. Just because we don’t need or want an extra four inches strapped onto our person doesn’t mean we don’t fancy the pretty shoes, and no throwing us a leopard print kitten heel sling back doesn’t count (can you tell I hate sling backs).

I dream of a day when I can walk into a shoe department and not have to just dream of making out with the pretty five inch feathery heels, or the sequin stiletto pumps, or the five inch pumps with spikes going down the back. Instead I look longingly, cursing the makers of them wondering why they couldn’t have the same shoe with a slightly smaller heel. I curse them all, I really do.

Until then, I will continue on my hunt for the perfect sparkly shoe. Call me Cinderella, but it is about walking around on this Earth in what you feel comfortable in. I don’t lack confidence, and unfortunately a lot of people feel that is the reason why I won’t wear a super high heel, but that isn’t the case. It is because I don’t feel like I could be my most fantastic self in them, and therefore they aren’t worth it.

It is all about embracing your confidence and going for it. Henceforth why I no longer feel like an Amazon woman in kitten heels.