Dear Pinterest, …

I spend most of my Saturday mornings Pinning. Some read the New York Times, watch the news, drink coffee and have a nice conversation with family or friends … I lay in bed and Pin. I live and die for you, which we all probably know by now, and the things I Pin to my Wall of Awesome are styles I actually want to try to rock, or just things that inspire my personal style. I literally just said if I had a wish right now, it would be to try on every one of my Pins … well … most of them at least.

But something that really bothers me, that I can’t for the life of my wrap my head around is something that I like to call “Pinterest hair.” I define this term as messy hair styles that look absolutely chic and gorgeous. You know, one of those that looks effortless but probably took an hour to get right. Do you know how many hours I’ve spent trying to obtain this “Pinterest hair?” TOO many. It’s infuriating. These Pin-worthy messy buns look like something one would see on the runways. My messy bun looks like I had the flu, went to bed with my hair up, slept on it all night with a fever, woke up, got dressed and went out with my hair just like that.

Sometimes I don’t really feel like sitting there, straightening my hair, making it perfect, or even putting some soft curls in it just for the sake of going to run errands or to do some light shopping. THIS is when I crave Pinterest hair the most. I want to be able to put on a cool outfit and just throw my long hair up like I don’t give a damn, and have it look Pin-tastic. But no, when I do it, I have bumps in all of the wrong places, or my hair is pulled back too tight making my face look odd, or I have long pieces of hair just sticking out making it look more like I’m about to go pump some iron then do some shopping. At a certain point I get so frustrated, rip the hair tie out, flip my hair over, run my fingers through it … and I call it a day.

Once again, you’ve set the bar quite high, Pinterest. These girls that get Pinned are always just like, “oh my God, I’m just standing in front of the Eiffel Tower in a pair of ripped jeans, a simple white T-shirt, red lipstick and my hair thrown on the top of my head in the coolest bun ever imagined that seems like it should be easy to pull off but isn’t … whatevs.” Or “it’s cool … I’m just standing on the corner of Madison Ave. with my super amazing fish tail braid that is kind of messy but somehow stays in place while I hail a cab in head to toe Chanel … sweet.” GRR. If I were to walk around any city with a fish tail braid in, by the time I got from A to B I would look like a tornado hit me. For serious.

I’ve even contemplated going to a hair stylist and having them teach me how to do Pinterest hair … yes I am THAT desperate. I mean for the love of God … all I want is to have a cool, nonchalant up-do. Is that too much to ask? So that is where I’m at right now, Pinning fabulous clothes and having massive, ridiculous hair envy. One day I’ll get it right, just one day.

Forever yours,

The girl who is insanely jealous of all girls who obtain Pinterest hair

Stylin’ In The Spring

First of all, I do not appreciate spring arriving like three weeks earlier than it is supposed to. Jerk. I mean it’s funny, at the end of every season, my closet is fully stocked with great things to wear … and when it ends I say, “wow self, next season I won’t have to buy too much since I invested in some really great pieces, I’m awesome.” But flash forward a year later and, like clockwork, you will find tumbleweeds and me standing in front of my closet in a frantic panic, pulling my damn hair out trying to concoct outfits I wore in seasons past. It is like my closet is a black hole where cute outfits from seasons past get sucked in, leaving me feeling crazed.

But with every new season comes with a new style. It is almost like you get the opportunity to reinvent yourself in a way. For example, this past winter, like all of them, I went for a very minimalistic look, lots of dark neutrals, boots and tights. A very serious style if you ask me. And for the past couple of seasons I haven’t been very colorful because I’ve personally always had a hard time adopting color into my looks. I feel like with a personal style, you need to pick and choose your color palette carefully, otherwise you have the potential to lose the “style message” you are trying to send, if you will.

So this spring, I’m absolutely adopting color, I know … crazytown. You can almost see my style transformation on my Wall of Awesome on Pinterest as I’m pinning a lot of flowy, light-colored garments that I’m very much excited about. Sheers, dark beiges, whites, pleats, paired with bright reds and blues and lots of arm candy. I’m also really into mixing and matching textures like crocheted pieces with sheers. And of course, black and white will always remain a staple of any look I go for. But sometimes when you’ve stayed with a dark, serious palette for so long, it is refreshing to let in some color.

Yes, too much color is absolutely a bad thing. I have an anxiety attack whilst watching that creepy french Target commercial with all of those colorful people popping out of that hot air balloon running around changing everyone into blues, pinks, yellows, and oranges. Good lord … if I was in the vicinity when that hot air balloon landed, I would have run for the God damn hills. Horrifying. Thanks, I was good with my black skinny jeans and my sheer black blouse and beige heels … don’t touch me and turn me yellow creepy Target people … kay thanks, bye.

So before you run out and start stock piling your wardrobe for spring, since it is coming to town this week … think about what style you want to portray. Don’t just buy a red blouse because it is cute and a pair of bright blue jeans because someone told you colorful jeans were in style. Think. Just because something is in style doesn’t mean it has to work for you. Do you know how many seasons I’ve walked into Forever 21 and just started to try random things on for funsies and ended up with a wardrobe that if I had to name would be called “xycskjdfoei” because it was all over the place and didn’t make a drop of sense. That is how you waste money and a perfectly good opportunity to portray to the world your style story. There is something to be said about cohesion … trust me it will save you a lot of time and effort when planning outfits for the day.

If you need help brainstorming, Pinterest is the way to go. Get on board (if you need an invite, I’ll be happy to hook you up), make a “Spring Story” board and start pinning things you like or would like to try. I’m telling you, you’ll start finding patterns of cohesion … and THAT my friends is when you start building your style story which you will be armed with when hitting the malls.

I’ve Fallen Down Yet Another Social Media Black Hole

I act like I don’t waste half of my life on Facebook, Foursquare, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google Circles … but I in fact do. Honestly, if you are under the age of like 45 and say you don’t, you are a dirty liar. Sometimes I’m on Facebook and realize that a ridiculously large chunk of time has passed that I can’t help but start shaking my fist violently and exclaim to myself, “DAMN YOU, ZUCKERBERG … give me back the hours I’ve wasted!”

So I totally thought I was finished with adopting social media channels when my sister introduced me to the new forbidden fruit: Pinterest. At first I was standoffish, refusing to download the App to my phone … just like I was with Twitter, Foursquare and LinkedIn at first. But of course, out of boredom, I succumbed to the luring temptress known as Pinterest … and … it … RULES. Literally, when I’m in line at the grocery store, waiting for a train, anything that involves down time … I’m on my iPhone pinning. It is a freaking deliciously addictive disease.

From fashion to beauty to fitness to art to food to architecture, this is like the most amazing place to explain who you are and what you like in life through the pinning of some really amazing pictures. Please excuse me if I sound like that 90-year-old woman who says to their grandchildren, “hey … are you kids on the Face Space … I hear it is pretty cool,” because I have a feeling I’m totally late to the Pinterest party … but if you aren’t on it, get on it. Immediately. In fact, I will send you an invite if you ask nicely!

Of course I made a Pinterest account for Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra … so make sure to follow me, friend me, pin me, retweet me … I don’t know the proper Pinterest lingo yet, clearly. My screen name or username or handle, whatever you kids are calling it these days, is LSIASB (Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra was apparently too long … jerks.)

I’m not one of those people who like to have about 50 boards of my inspiration, and what I hate, and what I like, and my style, and the foods I eat, and the wall of just my favorite color. I strictly have what I like to literally call my  “Wall of Awesome.” So I hope you enjoy the things that inspire me and that I find beautiful as I will pin and comment on things that Life Sucks In A Strapless Bra is all about. Style ideas, outfits we would die for, trends etc … it will all be pinned!

Can’t wait to hang out with you guys at this new fashion forward social media scene. Now if you will excuse me I have precious hours of my life to waste pinning shit.