How I Rescued a Marc by Marc Handbag

Do you ever feel like you have a million balls in the air and you’re dancing around at a million miles a minute trying to keep them all up and then you look down and realize a straight up month has passed? Well yeah … that is kind of what life has turned into … which isn’t a bad thing because I enjoy moving at the speed of light … I really do.

So I decided on this hot first day of spring that I was either A. going to treat myself to a cocktail after work or B. do a little shopping because it had seemed like forever since I bought anything … which is a dirty lie, but at least I’m honest with myself. So even though a cocktail almost won, I decided to do a little shopping at Nordstrom Rack and let myself get swallowed by racks and racks of clothes. Sometimes your brain just needs that … to shut off and just start thinking disposable thoughts like “oh is this a dress or a shirt?” “Should I incorporate this color into my wardrobe?” “Hmmm gold lame shorts? Buuuuuut they are Diane Von Furstenberg¬†… I’ll just try them on for funsies.” And that is exactly what I did and in fact some of those were exact thoughts that went through my head (yes, about the gold lame shorts … I know, I know I got a good laugh in the dressing room.)

But then I stumbled upon the handbag section and was walking around like a zombie drooling over Rebecca Minkoff, Kate Spade and other various purses that were waaaaay too rich for my blood, but were absolutely gorgeous enough for me to consider selling my cat or something to buy it. And then, in the corner of the department, thrown like a piece of trash, I saw this pretty little beige bag. So I of course went to go look at it and noticed it was even prettier up close … and leather … AND Marc by Marc Jacobs. What?! 1. Who tosses a Marc Jacobs bag in the corner like this … NO ONE PUTS MARC IN THE CORNER (sorry I had to.) And not only that, it was $99. Now, I don’t buy myself nice handbags for funsies … ever. In fact, fancy, big girl handbags I think are only appropriate on big occasions or to celebrate something. That’s just me, though.

So as I stood there, touching it on the ground like it was a puppy at the pound, uttering things in my head like, “hey little guy, you’re too beautiful to be on the ground all by your lonesome, aren’t you, aren’t you” … I picked it up and immediately started phoning friends asking if this is real and if I should take the dive to make it mine. While all of this was happening, I was waiting for some a-hole in a trucker hat to pop out and be like, “HAHA SUCKER, YOU JUST GOT PUNK’D!” In fact I went over to the sales lady with it and said, “is this for real?” And she laughed and said, “yes … yes it is.”

Apparently, because Nordstrom takes back everything, they cannot re-sell a handbag once it has been used, meaning taken out of the store … so they “refurbish” it AKA send it to bag rehab and mark down the price. It is a beautiful thing because this bag, my new muffin, looks brand new. Maybe it is … in fact I like to think it is even though I rescued it like a Sarah Mclachlan “in the arms of an angel” puppy. But hey, I think it gives it a little more spunk than taking it off the pretty shelves of Nordstrom, right.

So lesson learned ladies, the right handbags for the right price do fall from heaven sometimes … and by heaven I mean at Nordstrom Rack. I still feel like a crazed man in a trucker hat is going to knock on my door with a camera in my face and say, “I’m the world’s dumbest shopper!” Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to go back to spooning my new love muffin in the form of a purse.

Jeffrey Campbell, You’ve Done It Again You Saucy Minx

Jeffrey Campbell is an evil genius … and by evil genius I mean his shoes literally distract me while I’m innocently trying to walk through the Nordstorm shoe department in order to get to the mall. I get thrown off so badly that all of a sudden I black out and wake up hours later in a pile of fierce shoes wondering, “should I get this one, or do I NEED this other one more?”

If you aren’t familiar with his work, A. Go to your closest Nordstrom right now and meet the glory that are his shoes and then try on as many pairs as you can for funsies. B. Go on¬†and there you will really get to understand how truly beautiful and fascinating his work is. I also demand you download the fall/winter 2011 look book because I want to print out every page and turn it into wall paper … THAT is how God damn good it is.

Sure, these are not every day shoes, but that is what is so genius about them! Who truly needs a pair of, my personal favs, the “Backbow Bootie?” The answer is no one, but they bring fun and color, joy and questions to life. I mean when I see all of his shoes that are so colorful you kind of want to eat them like candy, it makes me want to punt my safe black, brown and beige pumps, which, even though I loathe the phrase, I gotta say it … are oozing with boredom.

Listen, if you need a little flair in your life, a pick me up, just want to taste a bit of a throw back, decided you’re done being vanilla and want to spice your shit up, or hell … if you just need to smile … check out his collection that is being shown at department stores like Nordstrom.

When it comes to these shoes … don’t think, just do. Don’t wonder if people will point and laugh, or question what people think you were on when you purchased them, or that you are a freak, or that you all of a sudden turned into a disco giant. Just have fun and experiment, that is what fashion, not style, is all about my friends.