Only one good thing came out of this Donald Sterling NBA nightmare, besides his racist ass getting kicked to the curb, and that is the Korean sun visor that his side piece wore to hide from the paparazzi.
Some may call it over-the-top, outlandish, idiotic. Me? Well, I call it sheer genius (and in no way shape or form does my love for this visor reflect my feelings for Donald Sterlings side piece).
There are just some days you don’t want to be seen. Nothing is worse when you are having a bad hair day or feel like something is in your teeth and run into your ex-boyfriend on the street, forced to make awkward small talk, trying not to fixate on the fact that a piece of broccoli is straight chillin’ in between your pearly whites. If you were wearing one of these lovely visors, none of that would happen. Your ex would be contemplating, “is that her, is it not? She would never wear a visor like that. But maybe in could be her. How embarrassing if it isn’t and I tap her on the shoulder. Wonder if a freak is hiding under there?” And by the time he’s done contemplating, you will have strutted past his ass.
It’s rather flawless, if you ask me. And for all those famous people out there complaining about the paparazzi following them, laughing at how stupid Donald Sterlings side piece looked in this Korean sun visor, maybe re-think your judgement. Not only will you not be in the, “stars without makeup,” section of Us Weekly, but you will take back just a small slice of your privacy. You’re welcome. I swear I won’t call you a hypocrite if I see you rocking one of these.
So I’ve drafted a list of when it would be appropriate to rock one of these visors. I hope this helps every single one of you on your path to hiding from the public, ahem …
1. You just hate people in general and don’t want to be seen
2. Hungover running errands
3. Hungover and just trying to exist
4. Doing the walk of shame
5. Days you don’t want to wear makeup
6. When you have the Black Death and need to make your way to the doctor without scaring small children
7. You’re in a Daft Punk tribute band
8. When you are playing hooky from work or school and don’t want any evidence that you’re day drinking
9. When it’s extremely humid out and experiencing a ridiculously bad hair day
10. After you got a chemical peel and don’t, again, want to scare small children
See? There are ENDLESS ways you could rock a visor like this. They’re futuristic, chic, and will help you defend yourself from awkward encounters with the American public.
With all of this being said, I want one strictly because of reason number 1 above.