G-G-G-Gelin’ Like A F-F-F-Fellin’


Okay, so I’m notoriously cheap … with some things. Getting my nails did … gives me heartburn. Why? Because that is shit I could do myself … why pay and have to tip someone for something I could easily take care of fo’ free. All it takes it a little patience.

So this past weekend I had a little day date with my mother that consisted of us going to get our nails did because the woman loves it. She also had just gotten her first gel nail polish manicure the week before and wouldn’t stop pitching how fabulous it was to me and how it wouldn’t chip for 10 days. 10 DAYS!

Now I love me some OPI Big Apple Red nails. If I don’t have shockingly red nail polish on, check my pulse. But the issue with it is even with base coat, two coats, top coat and beyond … it always chips. And I’m not the most graceful person … so by the end of the week my nails look a hot tranny, cracked out mess. Like seriously, a person shouldn’t walk around with chipped to shit red nails … yet I do. For shame.

So finally I decided to treat myself to this mystical gel nail polish manicure because for once I wanted to walk around for 10 days straight with shockingly red nails without the crack whore effect. I mean what a production. You get the normal manicure jazz, the filing, the cutting, the cuticle pushing … and then the polish storms in. A clear coat goes on, then you put your hands in these UV Ray-filled boxes that I felt were either giving my hands a tan or cancer. Then you put the color on … then your hands go back in the hand tanning bed, then you get another coat, and back in the box they go. Then before you know it, you take your hands out, the lady sprays them with something, which is and feels as weird as it sounds … and you’re done. Your nails are shiny, dry, perfect and fab.

So today is day three in gel manicure land and I’m kind of obsessed. My nails are not the slightest bit chipped, still disco ball shiny and the anti-crack whore. The extra time and money to get this manicure is so worth it to not have to deal with looking shabby, unprofessional or like a hot mess throughout the week. And I’m not dainty at all, ladies. I rip things open with my hands, use my nails instead of scissors, wash dishes, get messy … punch people … you know the deal. I am woman … hear me roar shit.

But for the busy gal on the go … do it. Don’t think … go gel. The only thing that disturbs me is I saw my mom get her gel manicure touched up and they literally dip your nails in like acid or something, wrap them in tin foil … TIN FOIL … and that is how you take said gel off your nails. Eek. But I could definitely imagine myself having some fun with my nails decked out in tin foil though … just sayin’ …