Last week I took a trip to Uniqlo because I needed a simple black turtleneck, and didn’t want to pay millions of dollars for it. And well, when I think affordable basics, I think Uniqlo.
Why did I need a black turtleneck? Well, I believe you need to start with the basics before you can ultimately build a proper wardrobe. A black turtleneck goes under the category of the crisp white button down, the crew neck you adore so much you buy it in 10 different colors, and the perfect white T. All things every lady needs.
This happened to be a lackluster shopping experience for me, though, which is the absolutely worst. A simple black turtleneck? Yawn. I was secretly hoping something shiny and fantastic would catch my eye once I entered Uniqlo so I could buy my necessary garment and then treat myself to something cool for being so pragmatic.
A pair of sweats with a cool design caught my eye and I immediately pictured myself being able to go out in public with them instead of looking like my normal slobbish self in sweats. But “meh” … I passed. Instead I decided just to “get er done,” so I tracked down the black turtlenecks for $20 a pop, found my size, and took it into the fitting room.
I slipped it on, starred at myself in the mirror wearing it and decided I “nothing-ed it.” The fit was fine. The fabric was fine. I knew I needed it, but did I want it, per-say? Negative. But it worked and didn’t make my eyes burn, so sold, I guess …?
I got in line to pay, so bored, so unamused when this wave of empowerment took over me. To hell with it! I put down the black turtleneck and walked out of the store. True, I needed it. But dammit clothes should give you SOME sort of reaction for fucks sake. You shouldn’t “nothing” an item you are spending your hard earned money on for the sake of looking stylish.
Even though I didn’t want to spend a bazillion dollars on a black turtleneck, I was now looking for one to spark an emotion out of me, so I took my ass to Nordstrom.
Immediately I found one with fabric I can only describe as delicious. It was so soft and lovely … to this day it makes my heart skip a beat. Too bad it was just a little too unforgiving around my jiggly bit region (I’m hibernating, fuck off) … so I passed. But the fabric … OH the fabric!
I tried on another that had an interesting design, and was a bit more baggy, which, hello, I thoroughly appreciate. The fabric was incredibly snuggly, and after quickly deciding I could live in said garment, I was sold. True, it was a little more than I was looking to spend, sure (details), but comfort has no dollar sign in my eyes. With a little more money, I didn’t have to give up style for the sake of a staple.
My love affair with turtlenecks is rather new, as I swore I would never wear them after years of rocking ones with seasonally appropriate symbols embroidered all over them (snowmen, leaves, pumpkins … thanks, Mom). But they really should be a staple in every woman’s closet. Like I said, if I could live in my new one, and it wouldn’t be gross or weird, I would.
Here are some of my favorite turtleneck looks…