It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye … :::Cue Boys to Men:::

I had a moment today where I looked at my overflowing drawers and closet and wondered, “hmm … if there is so much excess clothing, why do I have such a hard time getting dressed in the morning?” And then I thought maybe … just maybe I’m hoarding clothes for no other reason than I have separation issues. I can’t say goodbye to articles of clothing because wonder if one day I say, “damn, I wish I had that black sparkly tube top from 2007.” Clearly without it I would spontaneously combust or something … right?

Well I had about enough today. I just started throwing shit out like crazy. If I had to think about if I wanted it or not, it was gone. One day when I’m sane I’ll probably cry myself to sleep thinking about the three, yes three, black maxi dresses I tossed … but I just have this unnerving feeling that maxi dresses will “be so 2011″ next season.

But now I’m staring at this massively large industrial trash bag with years and years of clothing stuffed inside of it, not knowing what my next step is. I have two options … let me explain, ahem:

Option 1: Sell some of it at Platos Closet: Psyche. I loathe this place with an absolute passion. No … my clothing is not couture or “high-end” … but God dammit it is timeless, chic, and taken care of. Yet when I once brought like six trash bags full of great stuff to them, thinking I was going to be rich … I was confronted by this teenage Sales Associate who quickly looked over my clothes and told me most of it was “outdated,” “not what they were looking for,” “last season” and “in poor condition.” Liar, liar … your ugly pants are on fire.

First of all, how does fingering a shirt prove to you that it is “last season”? What does that even MEAN? You saw this shirt in New York Fashion Week last spring … or what? You just don’t personally like it? Because A. this store smells like an old basement that has vintage clothing in it and B. I’m pretty sure … no wait, wait … yep, no I’m absolutely sure you are selling white paten leather platform Mary Jane’s. So yeah, what were you saying about my clothes being outdated? Also, no offense, I don’t want to pay $40 for another person’s used pair of boots. I can buy a new pair or fantastic boots that some other weirdo didn’t already wear around town for that price … a thank you.

Perhaps if I knew the method to their madness I could put my mind at ease and not want to light the $11 dollars I made off three ugly purses I was certain they wouldn’t accept because THEY were in fact “outdated.” So any Platos Closet employee reading this that would like to school me in your clothes accepting ways … be my guest.

Option 2: Donate My Clothes: Ding, ding, ding! I am very grateful for all of my clothing, hence why it is so hard for me to say goodbye to it most of the time. But I like the idea of them going to someone who needs them, who will cherish them … you know, for them to have a better life than living in my drawers … getting tossed around and looked over for something better.

My advice is to find a charity you are passionate about and see if they take clothing donations. I personally don’t like throwing them in the bins out front of Walmart, although sometimes I do because I’m desperate to get rid of stuff, but I do like to know where my stuff is going for the most part.

And I gotta say, after I threw out all the stuff that has just been over crowding my personal space, I feel cosmically lighter … gotta say. So do a little fall cleaning because your neglected clothing might be the one thing that puts a smile on someone in need’s face. Just sayin’.

And to the people of Plato’s Closet … you have proven to me that there is really no such thing as an easy dollar made. You make it look so easy on your stupid commercials … but in essence, not so much. Someone will appreciate my clothing somewhere … I just know it … so suck on that … AYE YEY YEY YEY YEY YEY YEY!